


Detoxification

by cillasstuff



Series: 7-Day Challenge #2 [7]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-12
Updated: 2013-02-12
Packaged: 2017-11-29 01:54:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/681386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cillasstuff/pseuds/cillasstuff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam's words wound Dean</p>
            </blockquote>





	Detoxification

Sam didn’t look for him. Not once. The minute Dean heard those words, something cold washed through his veins like a poison spreading a deadly toxin into his body and effectively killing the welcome he’d planned for them once he was back in this dimension. He’d been gone a year fighting and killing his way out of purgatory with one goal in mind. Get back to Sam. He risked his life, taking chances he shouldn’t have only to find out that his brother, his lover didn’t bother to look for him. When he and Cas got sucked into that black hole with Dick Roman, Sam just got in Dean’s car and went searching for something better. 

“You didn’t look for me at all?” he asked just to make sure he’d heard correctly.

“No Dean, I didn’t,” Sam replied in a tone that to Dean’s ears sounded as though he was discussing the weather.

Even though there was no compassion in the tone, the expressive eyes that Sam had always used on him to make him give in, the ones Dean had dubbed puppy dog eyes, for once didn’t work.

Dean’s mind was racing after that, why didn’t he try? Did he really not care or was it just easier to let him go than to tell him he didn’t want him…like that anymore. As much as it hurt to think that, he wouldn’t force his brother to do anything he didn’t want, a relationship that he no longer wanted.

The silence between them became thick and awkward; both had questions, but for once, they were unsure of how to approach the other. Years of practice made it easy for them to pretend that this didn’t matter. Dean found that he couldn’t form the question that he wanted to ask because the litany of Sam didn’t look for me that was running through his head blocked out everything else.

Unable to deal with the unfamiliar discomfort between them Dean needed something to do with his hands so he wouldn’t give into his need to hit something. He searched the cabin until he found the box of phones that Sam had packed away and charged them and began to listen to the messages.

“Are you hungry? I could fix us something,” Sam tried to ease the tension..

“’M good,” Dean told him as he concentrated on his task while Sam began to cook.

He listened to the sounds of Sam cooking. Cooking for fucks sake. Was that something he learned from her, one of the few things that Dean didn’t teach him?

Once the phones were charged, Dean listened to the messages left by hunters over the past year and then there was a series of messages from Kevin. The Kevin whom they were morally responsible for protecting, while Dean was trying to stay alive to get back to Sam, Sam had left the teen in the wind.

While Sam ate, Dean fought to hold his shit together. He wondered how Sam could be so calm when Dean’s whole goddam world was falling apart because the one person he relied on, didn’t want him. Didn’t need him.

Not trusting himself to control his temper, Dean turned on the speaker and let Sam listen to the messages from Kevin.

“You left that boy to die Sam.” Dean accused. “A boy we were morally responsible for.”

“People die every day Dean and no matter how hard I try, I can’t save them all. For once I had a chance at normal and I took it.” Sam desperately tried to explain, “You have to understand Dean, I had a life I’ve never had before. I had a normal life with a girl, a place to call home and a job. I had a job Dean.”

This time when the poisonous words hit him they did major damage to his heart where they crept into his body and lodged themselves. As they traveled through his body this time, they shut down emotions and caused paralysis, because and Sam no longer cared about hunting things or saving people. He hadn’t even wanted to save Dean. What hurt the most was Sam left him to die to become an average Joe. Normal.

While he was in purgatory he detoxed cold turkey, but he didn’t think that there was a twelve-step program in the world that would help get Sam out of his system so he’d just deal.


End file.
